Daily Archives: September 17, 2017

Equality Not Essential For Happy Marriage

 

It appears that today’s folks are preoccupied with equality. The chances are very high most can’t define what equality means. At best, in the area of relationship, most will define it as 50-50. The question arises, which 50?

Men and women who pursue path of conventional gender roles are perceived negatively. Americans are forever being told that “gender equality”— which is no longer defined as equal opportunity but as male and female interchangeability—is the only road to a happy life.

Simply put, just because times change the basics of life exist and are not likely to change. For example, even today women (unless woman is Femi-Nazi) consider giving birth is a woman’s magnificent accomplishment. Thankfully, her first instinct is to provide for that child physically and emotionally; while man’s first instinct is to protect and to provide for that child.

No More Broken Heart

As society has undergone economic transformation, man and woman are capable of being breadwinners and full-time parents. But that does not mean they are able to perform the tasks with equal fervor. Men and women are not interchangeable beings, pure and simple.
Researchers Karen Kramer and Sunjin Pak found that when women’s paychecks increased, they reported more symptoms of depression. But the opposite effect was found in men: their psychological well-being was highest when they were the primary wage-earners.

New research at University of Illinois examined data on nearly 1,500 men and 1,800 women between the ages of 52 and 60 and found that couples who resist traditional gender roles, or who shoot for a so-called equal marriage, are less happy than those who swim with the tide.

These findings certainly defy the cultural narrative. Americans are forever being told that “gender equality”— which is no longer defined as equal opportunity but as male and female interchangeability—is the only road to a happy life.

No More Broken Heart

Sharing tasks in the routines of life has nothing to do with “equal’ but with capability of each individual and their contributions in nurturing their thriving relationship. Human nature doesn’t change just because society does.

That is not to say no married couple can successfully navigate a role reversal. Even today, approximately 30 percent of married women with children choose not to be employed. It is natural instinct for most women to focus their life on family- her children and her partner.

It is not so much that women depend on men but natural longing to fulfill mother’s role. Sounds totally political incorrect, but it is what it is.

No More Broken Heart

If you believe that that marriage is an equal partnership, then you are likely on path of eventual divorce and pain. Real marriage is not an equal partnership.  It’s not a partnership at all.  It’s a merger, a permanent joining to create something new. It ought to be a merger based on love, trust, respect and honor.

The research from the University of Illinois makes it clear that societal attitudes may have changed, but human nature has not. Perhaps it’s time we recognize the nature’s way.