Category Archives: Women

Is Relationship Web Of Lies?




As I was reading numerous profiles on online match making sites, what stood out to me was that honesty was the most sought after criteria for most women. Though I do not doubt that they are sincere in what they are seeking, but I pondered if they were honest themselves. Starting with their profile pictures, I can only say that it was far from “honest” representation.

I wonder if honesty is really crucial in a relationship. When you think about it, being close with someone means it is about caring and sharing. Truth be told, relationship also involves lots of hiding and lying as partners and in time both become master manipulators. There may not be any malice intended but simply, ultimate reckoning that often truth hurts. If you care for your partner, you do not want to hurt your partner, so you lie- often referred to as “white” lie!

Revitalize Relationship  

Relationships are built around simultaneous and yet opposite needs to be independent and yet be intimate. Thus this is where conflicts arise among couples. It’s a power struggle between these two needs, hashed out and decided for the first time between two individuals, with two separate ideas of the world, as they come together to form a bond. In a relationship, there’s a constant power struggle between these two ideas and these two opposing needs, as they merge into one story, that is, their relationship- thus often, honesty takes back seat in most relationships.

Can you imagine telling your current partner that your ex was very hot? In all likelihood, you will tell you partner “you are hot”! Your rationalization is that your partner needs to know based on current perspective. So it is possible, though it may not be truth, but not necessarily a lie!

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You are about to get going to an event. You are likely to hear, “I am almost ready”. Often that “almost” turns out to be 15 to 30 minutes. Who is counting? As a matter of fact, if you were to count, it will not matter. You accept the lie and move on!

Back to your past relationship, you know there were many good moments. But could you really share that with current partner? If you were to do that, you will be accused of living in the past. So you resort to an attitude that there was nothing much in that relationship. Perhaps a worst lie, but it is worth it to maintain peace and tranquility.

Most common situation is when your partner asks whether partner’s best friend is hot. Imagine telling the truth, you will be accused of eyeing your partner’s best friend. You will not admit it. In this case truth will not “Free” you.

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When it comes to sex, truth may not be told. Though comparison should not be made, it is likely your partner wants to know about the performance. You want to keep your partner happy, so you lie and sat “you are the best!” I even tried the neutral approach by saying that I do not compare. Needless to say, my response was not appreciated.

Surely, there are millions of lies in any relationship, I pointed few of them. It just so happens to be that relationship is based on foundation of millions of tiny, little and sometimes even big lies.

Revitalize Relationship 

If you do not believe that, then you are lying to yourself.

Equality Not Essential For Happy Marriage

 

It appears that today’s folks are preoccupied with equality. The chances are very high most can’t define what equality means. At best, in the area of relationship, most will define it as 50-50. The question arises, which 50?

Men and women who pursue path of conventional gender roles are perceived negatively. Americans are forever being told that “gender equality”— which is no longer defined as equal opportunity but as male and female interchangeability—is the only road to a happy life.

Simply put, just because times change the basics of life exist and are not likely to change. For example, even today women (unless woman is Femi-Nazi) consider giving birth is a woman’s magnificent accomplishment. Thankfully, her first instinct is to provide for that child physically and emotionally; while man’s first instinct is to protect and to provide for that child.

No More Broken Heart

As society has undergone economic transformation, man and woman are capable of being breadwinners and full-time parents. But that does not mean they are able to perform the tasks with equal fervor. Men and women are not interchangeable beings, pure and simple.
Researchers Karen Kramer and Sunjin Pak found that when women’s paychecks increased, they reported more symptoms of depression. But the opposite effect was found in men: their psychological well-being was highest when they were the primary wage-earners.

New research at University of Illinois examined data on nearly 1,500 men and 1,800 women between the ages of 52 and 60 and found that couples who resist traditional gender roles, or who shoot for a so-called equal marriage, are less happy than those who swim with the tide.

These findings certainly defy the cultural narrative. Americans are forever being told that “gender equality”— which is no longer defined as equal opportunity but as male and female interchangeability—is the only road to a happy life.

No More Broken Heart

Sharing tasks in the routines of life has nothing to do with “equal’ but with capability of each individual and their contributions in nurturing their thriving relationship. Human nature doesn’t change just because society does.

That is not to say no married couple can successfully navigate a role reversal. Even today, approximately 30 percent of married women with children choose not to be employed. It is natural instinct for most women to focus their life on family- her children and her partner.

It is not so much that women depend on men but natural longing to fulfill mother’s role. Sounds totally political incorrect, but it is what it is.

No More Broken Heart

If you believe that that marriage is an equal partnership, then you are likely on path of eventual divorce and pain. Real marriage is not an equal partnership.  It’s not a partnership at all.  It’s a merger, a permanent joining to create something new. It ought to be a merger based on love, trust, respect and honor.

The research from the University of Illinois makes it clear that societal attitudes may have changed, but human nature has not. Perhaps it’s time we recognize the nature’s way.

Money Really Can Buy Happiness


It is often said that money does not buy happiness.  Of course, it depends what you consider happiness.  If your happiness is in not doing mundane things, such as working on “honey-to-do-list”, then having money does help.

According to an international research team, you really can make yourself happier by paying other people to do your time-consuming chores.

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The researchers, led by Ashley Whillans, a professor at the Harvard Business School, began with survey data from nearly 4,500 people from the United States, Canada, Denmark and the Netherlands. Survey-takers were asked whether they paid other people to do “unenjoyable daily tasks” in order to “increase their free time.”  The study was published Monday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

In 28% of cases, the answer was yes. These folks spent an average of $147.95 per month to buy themselves extra time.  The people who traded money for time were more satisfied with life than their counterparts who didn’t. They also were less likely to say they felt “time stress,” a condition that was linked with lower levels of life satisfaction.

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In essence having extra money enables you buy happiness.  The study indicates that people are willing to spend on “time-saving” purchase so they do not have to be stressed by doing mundane things.  People tend to have more positive feelings when tasks are accomplished without their own hardship.  Believe it or not, in enhances daily mood which in turn, promotes greater life satisfaction.

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In essence, money does buy happiness.

How To Retire Wealthy, Healthy and Happy?



Are you too old to start business?

As a baby boomer, you are probably asking that question.

Just because you are a baby boomer, your role need not be limited to just being dad, grandpa (mom or grandma). You may have aged, but you are also wiser.
As matter of fact, we are not dead yet. Did you know that boomers (born between 1946-1964) have been forming businesses at faster pace than any other generations- especially younger ones.

The reasons are simple indeed:

  •  Boomers come from a self-reliant generation that’s not afraid of hard work
  • – Boomers have a lifetime of experience they want to apply in their
    own businesses
  • – 50 (even 60!) is the new 30!

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The great news is, this has to be the best time ever to start a business. Because the internet has made the whole world our marketplace and it has made being in business simple with many auto features. All you need is laptop and Wifi.

Being boomer, you can relate to making an efforts and being focused. That is an essence of any business and more so for online business.

Interestingly, as a baby boomer you have experienced life over the years and you are at the age with full of wisdom. You are able to teach the new generation how they can use the tools to enrich others. There is a saying that when you give man a fish, you feed him for a day; when you teach him how to fish, you will feed him rest of his life.

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That is the beauty. The younger generation need folks like boomers to guide them in a direction to instill values of efforts and dedication. It is about being focused and parlaying of knowledge of how to be in business and succeed. And you are at right place.

Furthermore, the opportunity will also benefit you as you will be rewarded handsomely. In essence you will be retiring healthy, wealthy and happy.

That’s because this business is perfect for:

  • Retirees who aren’t content occupying the rocking chair or the golf course.
  • People who have given years to corporations, who now want to enjoy
    their families and still make great money.
  • Folks who put their passions on hold and now want time to pursue them.

For any Boomer reading this who isn’t ready to hang it up, or IS ready
for a “second act” of lifestyle freedom, fun and financial prosperity,
definitely check this out!

Retire Wealthy 



How To Fix You?



As we journey through life events can throw curves that we did not anticipate.  But most of us do the best we can. In a relationship, struggles can be compounded as you “no longer have to deal with struggles of your own but you are also burdened with the struggles of your partner.

The relationship may seem to begin with rosy outlook, but quickly you learn that it goes through its peaks and valleys.  Then suddenly you may be handed with a crisis that may create havoc in life so much so there is no more “your” life.  You are often left to wonder if there is any more hope left for the future.

It is essential that at this stage you learn to focus on important things.  Do not ponder on what future may look like but focus day to day.

No More Expectations

You are likely to live life with full of expectations- not only for you, but for your family, for your partner.  Tough as it may be, you need to let go of expectations.  What you will notice in the process that you have let go of the pain and anger.  When you let go of the pain and anger, you allow love in.

Make Time For YOU

Sounds so simple, but you are likely to forget YOU as you are too busy being a partner, being a parent, being employee.  Your most likely defense will be, “I do not have time.”  Well, you will need to find to focus on you.  You need to find time to allow yourself the space to attain nirvana- state of feeling balanced.

Laugh a Little (Lot)!

In time of crisis, nothing seems to go right, who can laugh, you say.  True indeed, laughter may not make crisis disappear, but it provides needed relief.  It is often said that laughter is the best medicine.  Even when succumbed to despair, a simple laughter eases the pain and inner soul finds relief.  Sometimes all you can do is learn to laugh at yourself.  There are funny moments in every day.  Find them and laugh a little.

Do Not Let Struggle Define You

It is so easy to be defined by the struggles you face.  You may be experiencing the struggles, but they are not you.  You are not a victim.  Your struggles are temporary phase to strengthen you.  Overcoming the struggles will turn out to be unique experiences to make you into even better person.

Yes, circle of your life comprises of many people who are precious to you.  But they have their own journey in their life.  Your struggles are yours, just as their struggles are theirs.  You are willing to lend helping hands but not at your expense.  Despite all the closeness you may feel, You only have You!

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How Not To Be Victim Of Cheating In Relationship?

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Sometimes just loving may not be enough to hold your partner. You may be wondering if there is a way to prevent your partner cheating on you.

Unfortunately, there isn’t anything you can do to ensure your partner will not cheat on you. But if you constantly worry about being cheated, that is likely to drive your partner away from you. Your constant fear may lead your partner to think you do not trust your partner. Trust is positively strong element in relationship. There is nothing more toxic that not trusting your partner.

Learn How To Be Desired

It is possible that in your previous relationship, you may have been a victim of cheating. But not all relationships encounter cheating. It is essential that analyze your earlier relationships to ensure that you are selective in selecting your partner. You can seek help of therapists or read books for healing and learning to trust again.

The brutal reality is that you have to accept that you could get cheated again. And should that happen, it is best not to blame yourself. Surely, it will not be pleasant but you know you will survive. In time, you will learn to love again. In time, heart heals.

Learn How To Be Desired

There are ways to bolster your emotional and physical connection so your partner will want to stay with you. The simple essence of relationship is being connected to each other. The connection can only be enhanced when there is intimacy. The simple basic approach is to desire and to be desired by each partner.

The best way to enhance relationship is to communicate via Language of Lust and Language of Desire. These methods provide ways for awesomely intimate relationship only to enhance emotional bonding.

Learn How To Be Desired

Never again have communication issues when you master Language of Lust and Language of Desire. 

Long Live Relationship


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Language of Lust To Trigger Her Hot Buttons

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Perhaps you are envisioning a beautiful playmate’s body dancing through your imagination, right!

But seriously, to be able to trigger woman’s hot button has nothing to do with her body but her mind. To be able to get to her body, you must be able to tickle her mind.

Make Her Crave For You

What needs to be understood is that sex is all about entanglement with the body, but actual passion begins in her mind. It is the language of lust unlocks her sexual imagination. Enhance her sexual imagination to enjoy her physical intimacy.

The common mistake men make is that they think it is all about their performance. Not at all. It is your language of lust that will make her think of you as the best she ever had.
If you want to be her sexual super hero, you will need to super charge her emotions. You need to make her feel sexually irresistible and you need to adore her.

There is unique technique known as mastering language of lust. The technique begins with what you say and how you make her feel. You need to understand that as a man you are all about being physical, but to your woman it is about emotions. Stir her emotions with passionate lingo and she is yours to have and hold.

Make Her Crave For You

Women are aware that her value is based on her appearance. But in essence her sexuality is what makes her woman that she is. She may be sexually confidant woman but she fears about how she shares her body, who she shares with and how she looks sharing it.

For her, encounter with you has one main goal she wants to be your sex goddess. All you have to do is to create that safe place for her to relax and connect through the language of lust so she will be engaged with you in totality.

So what is the language of lust, you ask.

Make Her Crave For You 

There are few specific phrases that captivate woman’s attention and stir her emotions. But note that there has to be sincerity as you deliver these phrases via text or in person. It may be a good idea that initially you start with PG rated phrases.

  • You have me so turned on just thinking of you.
  • Your body is so beautiful, I love exploring every inch.
  • What are you doing to me? I can’t stop thinking about you.
  • Damn, I am one lucky man.
  • You turn me on like no other woman.
  • I love how much pleasure you give me.
  • You feel so amazing, you know that right?
  • I find you completely irresistible.
  • You have me crazy with desire for you.

And these are just a few examples. If you are ready to totally tap into her sexual imagination, be the Sex God of her dreams, and make her addicted to you, check out this quick video. 

Making Life special


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Cuddling Can Make You Happy


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In the modern world of ours we are able to reach everyone but yet we are unable to touch anyone. In the area of intimacy most people are sex obsessed but touch deprived.

Lots of cultural do and don’ts prevent people from touching each other leading to an invisible emotional distance. Touch deprivation has become mantra in our world, with mandates against touching in our school systems even from as early as the preschool stage. People are conditioned to be afraid of touching each other. It is no wonder that people are willing to pay for cuddling.

There are professional cuddling agencies that have sprung up in the US. The company trains and certifies would-be professional cuddlers. There are websites as a virtual marketplace for clients and cuddlers to find each other.

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Supposedly the cuddling service serves as a platonic and—importantly—a therapeutic service. It has set out to fill a perceived void in the emotional realm of modern society, one where sex is easy to find, but not genuine intimacy. Yet there is a fine line whether paid cuddling is “a real thing”, a legitimate, non-sexual service that the current wellness industry fails to provide.

Cuddle is form of touching that is yearned by many. Cuddling is being touched- not just intimacy but a type of intimacy that is undemanding and unconditional. However you may feel about cuddling, cuddling offers real health benefits. Setting aside your and partner’s likes and dislikes, you may want to take a look at cuddling ways.

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Cuddling is form of caring. There are times when total intimate experience is not desired (for whatever reasons); this is when cuddling comes handy. It is intimate and yet desired form by which body exchanges warmth and positive vibes. It is handy during times of fatigue or nights you want to be glued to your television.

Cuddling improves relationship. The cuddling is ultimate form of expression of satisfaction after an intimate encounter. Cuddling increases your sense of security with your partner, which increases your desire to be emotionally intimate.

Cuddling lowers blood pressure. Cuddling is just connecting with your partner. In fact, hugging and cuddling can actually help lower blood pressure. It just may help the heart health of both you and your partner.

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Cuddling is good for immune system. Snuggling up with your partner may actually help you stay healthy. Cuddling gives your immune system a pick-me-up that some believe is just as effective as popping a multivitamin. When cuddled, you are releasing all the feel good hormones.

Cuddling eases stress and promotes healing. As feeling good by cuddling releases stress it can also help increase pain thresholds and promote growth and healing.

Cuddling makes you happy. You will be happy when you’re curled up in your lover’s arms as cuddling releases some pretty key ingredients that’ll help boost your current feel-good status. When cuddled, you release dopamine and serotonin thus elevating your moods.

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Simply put, there are many emotional reasons to cuddle up. Cuddling is a comfortable way to communicate non-verbally. Cuddling makes people feel connected and gives them a sense of understanding. Ultimately ensures that after all you are not alone.

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Are You Relationship Addict Or With Relationship Addict?

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By now you must have heard of the highly publicized romance between superstars Chris Brown and Rihanna. Their on-again-off-again relationship and their public feuds, including his beating and bruising her several years ago have been covered by media extensively. Brown-Rihanna is a couple just like so many other young romantics who, in seeking true love, find only a dramatization of their inner conflicts.

It is only obvious then you need to ask if you are in a relationship because of love or addiction.

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It may be a strange question, but it needs to be asked. Those who are relationship addicts, they often think they are in love, but not really. In their eyes, a healthy, loving relationship is not cool. Surely, the three magic words- I love you- may be uttered by partners, but in reality they are meaningless.

In any relationship, chances are high that honeymoon phase ends and often evolves into healthy phase. But those who are relationship addicts, they long for passion and enthrallment in the relationship continuously. As such, when novelty wears off, they are ready for another venue.

It is hard for relationship addict persons to put in time, effort, and energy to make it work. They are not willing to go the extra mile and stick it out for real love. They rather hop from one partner to the next when things get rough, instead of weathering the storm.

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The pattern of addiction is easily recognizable. The partners will argue and breakup and eventually will reconcile and makeup. This goes on for a long while. This is surely an indication that the relationship full of breakups and makeups is not meant to be. It is possible that either or both partners are relationship addicts.

Just like people who experience other addictions, the person’s life has spun out of control and there is the urge to regain power. The obvious sign of a love and relationship addict is his or her inability to control over romantic fantasies that was experienced at the inception of the relationship. Surely, most people may not be able to control emotions in a given moment, but they know how to react in a controlled manner. The addicts lack the control of their reactions.

In most relationships, most partners want to make each other better. But in some cases, one can easily get caught up with their significant other. If the partner is a relationship addict, the personal drama impacts other areas of life- losing interest in person’s job. Simply put, the addicts are losing sight of their responsibilities. Risky situation, indeed.
Strange as may sound, most people have unrealistic expectation out of their relationship- a perfect love story. But reality is very brutal and far far away from fairy tales. The relationship and love addicts have been sold on fantasy not on actual romance.

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Quiet often relationship addicts equate sex to love. For love and relationship addicts initial passionate can’t-keep-your-hands-off-one-another feeling with actual love. For the addicts that kind of passionate encounters needs to exist all the time. The reality is that there is a difference between lust and love. Simply put, romantic and love addicts lust must go on and on.

It is never too late to look honestly at the value and purpose of relationships. It will be great if you look at it prior to initiating any relationship. What need or value does this relationship serve for you? Are you in it because of the amazing chemistry? Are you in this relationship to avoid being alone? Or would you like a relationship that inspires you to be the best person you can be … or one where you feel safe enough to be vulnerable so you can heal and grow?

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Most people seek a meaningful relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone knows what a meaningful relationship is. In most cases, when it comes to meaningful each one of you may have different concept of “meaningful”. Be aware of relationship or love addicts, as they are likely to be threatened by the fact you sometimes want one thing while your partner wants a different thing.

You & Me- Best Can Be!


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It Is Time To Divorce

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In Byrd’s sensational hit, “Turn, Turn, Turn”, there are lines:
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late!

When it comes to applying the song to a relationship, an additional line would have been appropriate, “a time for divorce”.

Yes, unpleasant as it may sound, there is a time for divorce.  No one can definitely say it is the right decision.  You may ponder whether to fight to stay in your marriage or fight to get out of marriage or cut your losses.

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Did you notice that whichever way you decide, you had to fight.  That is the point.  If you have to “fight”, to stay in the marriage, then that itself is not a good sign.  But there are few signs that may have evolved in your relationship that suggest that it is time to divorce.

You are contemplating of being alone.  The feeling of being alone gives you the sense of freedom- If you feel this way often, then it is time for divorce.

You are so not into your partner that the partner’s touch gives you the creeps.  It feels like a thousand ants on your skin.  You feel bad bigly. You are feeling repulsed, only to yell out touch me not. It may not be the reason, but surely a signal in the direction leading to divorce.

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If you have cheated or you have been cheated on, there is surely no turning back.  Yes, there can be case made about forgiving.  As good human being as you may be, forgiving is possible but forgetting is not likely.  When faith is shaken, it is time for divorce.

Deep down you are looking into distant future.  In that distant future, you are happy but ironically it does not include your partner.  When you have that kind of vision too often, it is time for divorce.

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In a marriage, keeping intensity in relationship requires two people.  When there is no desire to fuel the intensity, there is trouble in a matrimonial paradise.  There is apathy and your partner’s action does not faze.  It is time for a divorce.

As the last stanza in the “Turn, Turn, Turn” states, “I swear it’s not too late.”

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