By now you must have heard of the highly publicized romance between superstars Chris Brown and Rihanna. Their on-again-off-again relationship and their public feuds, including his beating and bruising her several years ago have been covered by media extensively. Brown-Rihanna is a couple just like so many other young romantics who, in seeking true love, find only a dramatization of their inner conflicts.
It is only obvious then you need to ask if you are in a relationship because of love or addiction.
It may be a strange question, but it needs to be asked. Those who are relationship addicts, they often think they are in love, but not really. In their eyes, a healthy, loving relationship is not cool. Surely, the three magic words- I love you- may be uttered by partners, but in reality they are meaningless.
In any relationship, chances are high that honeymoon phase ends and often evolves into healthy phase. But those who are relationship addicts, they long for passion and enthrallment in the relationship continuously. As such, when novelty wears off, they are ready for another venue.
It is hard for relationship addict persons to put in time, effort, and energy to make it work. They are not willing to go the extra mile and stick it out for real love. They rather hop from one partner to the next when things get rough, instead of weathering the storm.
The pattern of addiction is easily recognizable. The partners will argue and breakup and eventually will reconcile and makeup. This goes on for a long while. This is surely an indication that the relationship full of breakups and makeups is not meant to be. It is possible that either or both partners are relationship addicts.
Just like people who experience other addictions, the person’s life has spun out of control and there is the urge to regain power. The obvious sign of a love and relationship addict is his or her inability to control over romantic fantasies that was experienced at the inception of the relationship. Surely, most people may not be able to control emotions in a given moment, but they know how to react in a controlled manner. The addicts lack the control of their reactions.
In most relationships, most partners want to make each other better. But in some cases, one can easily get caught up with their significant other. If the partner is a relationship addict, the personal drama impacts other areas of life- losing interest in person’s job. Simply put, the addicts are losing sight of their responsibilities. Risky situation, indeed.
Strange as may sound, most people have unrealistic expectation out of their relationship- a perfect love story. But reality is very brutal and far far away from fairy tales. The relationship and love addicts have been sold on fantasy not on actual romance.
Quiet often relationship addicts equate sex to love. For love and relationship addicts initial passionate can’t-keep-your-hands-off-one-another feeling with actual love. For the addicts that kind of passionate encounters needs to exist all the time. The reality is that there is a difference between lust and love. Simply put, romantic and love addicts lust must go on and on.
It is never too late to look honestly at the value and purpose of relationships. It will be great if you look at it prior to initiating any relationship. What need or value does this relationship serve for you? Are you in it because of the amazing chemistry? Are you in this relationship to avoid being alone? Or would you like a relationship that inspires you to be the best person you can be … or one where you feel safe enough to be vulnerable so you can heal and grow?
Most people seek a meaningful relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone knows what a meaningful relationship is. In most cases, when it comes to meaningful each one of you may have different concept of “meaningful”. Be aware of relationship or love addicts, as they are likely to be threatened by the fact you sometimes want one thing while your partner wants a different thing.
You & Me- Best Can Be!